Where the mind is with fear ? Lifestyle ? DNA - Health Topics

Tick Tock. two words that 31-year-old Nithin Thomas* would have used in 2006 to describe his best friend. Early that year, Thomas? granddad ? whom he describes as ?my rock? ? passed away in his sleep. ?for a long time, I just could not go to sleep, without the image of my dead granddad, lying on his bed with a half-smile, to haunt me. That made me mortally afraid of falling asleep.? And so, when everyone would happily crawl to their beds by nightfall, Thomas would lie awake, only with a ticking clock for company. ?you won?t believe how many one-sided conversations I have had with my wall clock,? says Thomas.

Days passed by in a haze for Thomas, who is a bank employee. he became depressed, moody and easily picked up fights with people. a few friends stuck with him, the others drifted away. his life started falling apart. ?I nearly came to blows with a taxi driver, who ?dared? to overtake me on the road. That?s when I decided to seek help.?

Everyday phobiasAlmost anything can become the object of a phobia. Vinay Aravind, for example, has had an intense fear of exhaust fans right from childhood. As a lawyer-turned-photographer, he?s always making trips, and his phobia does rear its head at inopportune moments, such as answering the call of nature. ?I have to weigh the urgency to use the public restroom,? he grins.

?From the first time I saw an exhaust fan at my neighbour?s house, I was terrified of them,? recalls Aravind, who is based in Chennai. ?Holiday trips during my childhood were traumatic. I would always think whether the house we were going to would have an exhaust fan. And if it did, I would avoid using the room. It used to make me feel miserable.?

Mumbai-based psychiatrist Dr Anjali Chhabria remembers a college student who had social phobia. he would wake up super early in the day and head to class hours before time, because he was petrified at the thought of having to walk in front of his classmates to get to his seat. ?his parents got worried and started asking why he would go to college so early ? and he wouldn?t tell. they started wondering what he was up to. later, through therapy, we realised the problem,? says Chhabria.

Another client, a woman, had a fear of elevators. If she was invited to an event, she would find out in advance whether the building had stairs. ?If a party was being held on the 8th floor, it might look strange to her friends if she took the stairs. so, she would make some excuse and not go at all.?

Just phobic. not insane Mariam Khan*, a college student, likes sharing her family photographs taken at exotic locations with her friends. But ask about her mother, who is conspicuous by her absence in these pictures, and she grows silent. ?my mother had acute aerophobia,? Khan explains. ?she never entered a plane.? Khan painfully remembers the countless arguments she had with her mother (who passed away in 2009) trying to convince her to board a plane for a family vacation or a wedding aboard, but the family could never be together outside India. ?my mother refused to see a psychiatrist,? says Khan. ?she didn?t want to be tagged as ?mad?.?

Prerna Mathur, a housewife in Mumbai, remembers her friend, Swathi Krishan*, who was terrified of dirt and dust. ?she would even wash electronic items like the TV with water. she would wash her home furniture, which got her into trouble with her landlord. she spent hours bathing her kids the moment they came from school. she would wash their books too!? After the Krishnans left Mumbai, Mathur lost touch with her friend. ?she was firm about not meeting a doctor, but I hope she eventually did.?

A stitch in timeExperts insist that phobias are curable. ?We have a number of techniques like the emotional freedom technique, breathing techniques, systematic desensitisation and visualisation of a positive situation,? explains clinical psychologist Kanan Khatau Chikhal. though Aravind did not consult a doctor, he sought comfort from online forums where he met others with similar fears. ?they felt exactly the same way as I did ? that a fan that?s switched off is even scarier than one that?s on, that metal fans are scarier than plastic ones ? It felt great to know that there were others like me.?

After almost a year of therapy, Thomas too has finally gotten a grip on his life. a psychiatrist explained to him that his fear of sleep grew from the death of his granddad. ?I was advised to stop clinging to the memory of my granddad.? Today he says he?s wiser, with very few but true friends. ?And that, includes my trusted wall clock as well,? he laughs. ?It saw me through some very tough times.?

(*Names have been changed to protect identity)

Tags: nightfall, haze, online forums, metal fans
This entry was posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2011 at 4:20 pm and is filed under Emotional Freedom Technique. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a comment. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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